My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
