I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize