with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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