Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
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Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
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doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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