You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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