it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Dear god my vagina.
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