dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
