I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
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I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
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Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
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