ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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