I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
