She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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