Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
