Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize