yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
