I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
