I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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