there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize