someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
oh god the rape fog is back!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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