Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
