So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
