I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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