Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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