Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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