He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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