What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
