I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize