dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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