Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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