I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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