why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
