My sheets look like a crime scene.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
