Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
