Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
