Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
