I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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