She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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