so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
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please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
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If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I deserve this hangover.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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