If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
