i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
