When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We left the knife in your bed.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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