sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
