Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize