it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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