I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
