Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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