I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
