Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
there's paper in my vomit.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Is Oprah even human
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
