dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
