Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
