He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
