just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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