isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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