Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
