wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize