She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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