Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize