so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
