If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize