Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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