I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
