I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
