im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
