...so i touched it.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
