1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
